invited gill up for some film watching. found out dave & bells plans fell through. bet he wouldnt even have phoned me. bell came up for half an hour till 10. then he and dave and carr went to the OP. bell came up again after gill had left. it was nice seeing him. i enjoy being spending time with him.
got a phonecall from dave at 5 in the morning. it was good at first. then he starts saying he regrets asking me out cos it will spoil what we have. will it fuck hell spoil what we have by asking me out the dumping me 3 days later after seeing me for 2 hours.
i think hes just scared. im scared as hell too. i think we feel the same but he cant see how much this will hurt me. he never can. hes going to think about it. i adore that boy.
what the fuck do i feel for him though?
all i know is i can't lose him again. i don't think id make it this time.
weight: ? i couldn't weight today